Sometimes fears are your soul’s way of screaming that something is seriously off.
There is a difference between getting cold feet and being in the completely wrong relationship. Most often the hardest thing is admitting this to ourselves when you are in the middle of it all.
Having the same core values is a huge deal. Marriage is a huge deal. Having second thoughts should be expected. It is a sign you understand the commitment you are about to make. But sometimes, those fears are your soul’s way of screaming that something is seriously off.
For those considering getting married, or truely commit to someone, here are some signs that you might want to rethink your decision.
1. You don’t want to become him or her
In 20 years, do you want to be like your partner? You adopt the qualities of those you hang out with. They say you become the sum of the top 5 people you spend time with the most. You don’t have to be crazy about all of his or her mannerisms and quirks, but a good partner means he or she is someone you want to become like.
2. You’re trying to convince yourself
Your partner could be a great person, but still something in you just can’t quite settle on the idea of being with him or her. While logically you might feel like this person has everything you are looking for, there is still something not quite there. You keep trying to convince yourself this is the person you want to be with.
3. It’s hard to imagine a happy future
When you imagine your life married to him or her, does your future seem happy? Imagining a future with your love should make you excited and hopeful. If that’s lacking, why on earth would you want to commit to this person forever?
4. Uneasiness overshadows the good
Even in the wrong relationships, you’ll have beautiful days. That’s because this person is (most likely) someone you love. At one point in your life you picked this person above all the others you could have dated. But if the relationship is wrong, eventually the days filled with anxiety about the relationship will start monopolizing the majority of the days.
5. Petty criticism
If you are normally a critical person, skip over this. However, for those who rarely criticize people either behind their back or to their face, and criticism toward your significant other starts sneaking in, it’s like a huge waving red flag. Practice only looking for the good in him or her each day, but if the criticism keeps going, it might be your gut telling you something is not quite right.
6. Dreams at night betray your feelings
Consistently dreaming about your significant other doing bad things might indicate how uneasy you actually are about the relationship. It’s like a sneak peak into your subconscious’ opinion on this whole thing. While your significant other probably won’t ever act this way, a pattern of bad behavior in your dreams can represent the anxieties or either your gut feeling that you’re suppressing.
7. You don’t like yourself
The most important relationship within a relationship is with yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t show the love necessary to a partner in a relationship. Make sure this person brings out the best in you – someone you enjoy being around as well. After all, you’re stuck with yourself forever.
8. Your partner doesn’t like him/herself
Its very painful if you realise you can give all the love you have, but if your partner isn’t able to receive it then you two are never going to see each other as you are since you are on a different level of self love. Both partners need to be genuinly happy with who they are so that you can be equal. If you try to change your partner than you don’t accept him or her, but a person needs to realise he/she wants to change himself. If you notice your partner can’t change or doesn’t want to, and you continue to grow and can’t take your partner with you, then it is time to leave so that you can find someone that is more in alignment with your own level of self love.
9. Your gut says no
Deep down, when you’re completely honest with yourself, how do you feel about it? You can’t deny your gut feeling. I say go with your gut, even when you feel like logically there is no explanation for how you feel.
Always, always listen to your gut. How painful that may be.