I welcome you on my blog about personal development, intimacy and travels. I strongly believe by being open we can acknowlodge and all recognize each other in the stories we share and the experiences we have.
My name is Kirsten. I am a Photographer with a profound interest in aesthetics, psychology, writing, personal growth, intimate relationships, (non-verbal) communication and I’m inspired by nature, travel and meeting people. I thrive on learning, creating, researching, exploring, and empowering others. After some huge events, which changed my life, I was always having questions, like; What is happiness? Why do we suffer? What is the meaning of life? (As cliche as it sounds) But it was the start of my spiritual journey. Since then I did a lot of meditation. I started paying more attention to my innerworld. I found joy in writing my experiences down as it helps me process things. At first I started this blog for myself, privately, and called myself “The Inner Traveler”, because it was inspired on my journey going within and the love I had for travel. But what started out as a joke actually became a platform for me of expressing my thoughts. Its like you put your thoughts on paper, and its out of your system. Great! I decided not to keep it to myself anymore, but share it with others so maybe you can find some recognition in the things I am going through 🙂 I believe we all go through this beautiful process. I want to share my own writings aswell as those of other inspiring writers & authors who contemplate on the same topics, in the hopes to inspire you!
The Beginning of My Inner Journey
It all began when I first started to experience symptoms of what we call today, a spiritual awakening. For me its coming to the realisation that you are not your thoughts, not your emotions but we are merely experiencing them. Its when your kundalini energy starts to awaken from its dorment state. I am far from enlightened but its more a proces where you start to see that the beliefs you had weren’t so true after all. Its rather confronting, but its also very meaningful. Its when you realise you don’t identify with your mind all the time, and you become more aware of how your ego operates (which is hilarious, that sneaky bastard.) I realized there is a whole internal world that is waiting to be discovered. The expansion of conciousness. Where to begin, it all started when I actually experienced vast amounts of suffering, that actually led to my awakening. Its like you need to look so deep down that black hole, to see a light at the other and of the tunnel. I’ve batteled with periods of depression and perfectionism for a great while. Having a history with emotional and sometimes physical abuse growing up caused me to become very hard on myself. My fears were blocking me and preventing me from moving forward. I am a thinker, so being completely dependent on my mind I was analyzing different outcomes, options and paths endlessly over and over again in my head. It was driving me nuts! Until one day, when I suddenly realized, like Albert Einstein stated: — ‘Problems cannot be solved with the same mind set that created them.’ I realized I couldn’t fix the same problems with the same mind who created them. Im slowly understanding now I don’t have to fix anything. I have all the knowlodge within me that I need, I just need to allow myself to tap into it. Often we have all the answers in front of our nose, but we don’t see them until we are silent, and observe. And so I started the process of surrender. The process of letting go of fears. In order to do that I had to face my own fears, look them right in the eye. I had a deep fear of being vulnerable, and show my trueself. So I found many ways to hide it. Until I realised it was actually the doorway to a deeper level of understanding. I had fear for my deepest emotions, burried deep within my subconcious. The only way I could do that was to actually sit with my fears, with my thoughts and emotions, and literally feel them. Observe them. Once acknowlodged they would fade, but obviously sometimes new fears arise. Its like you peel yourself off like an onion. When you think you looked at something there’s a whole shitstorm underneed that you still haven’t looked at, even though you thought you did. How can we learn what unconditional love is if we don’t know how to love ourselves? Im learning everyday to create healthy boundries. Self care is a divine responsibility. My healing journey so far has inpsired me to share with other people because we can be a mirror to each other. People in everyday life can be my teacher. We all have our own truths. How can we be authentic if we don’t know what that means? For me it means being true to yourself believing in yourself. This means we all may have different truths! And that is okay. I believe this is a ungoing process. Deep down you will know what is important and true for you. Trying to be true to yourself is a daily practise. Self love is a daily practise. As I am growing older I am learning how to integrate these things, how to embrace my vulnerability and the shedding of negative self beliefs, step by step. I am still practising everyday. I am still healing. I am still in the middle of this process. I can be my own biggest enemy sometimes. It is the human condition to be imperfect. Feelings of inadequacy and failure are part of the experience of living. Paradoxically, it’s our struggles that make us who we are. When we can all drop the masks that hide our personal humanity and recognize that we all have shadows, we contribute toward an environment of supported vulnerability, courage, openness, empathy and compassion. We help others to find their heart courage to risk emotional exposure. Pain in inevitable, but suffering is optional. As rumi once said; Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within ourself that we have built against them that allows you to feel the love that is always present underneath all those layers of beliefs your mind created.
If you heal yourself, you heal the world.