“The shadow self seems to be the opposite of love. Actually, it is the way to love.” Deepak Chopra
One of the most important psychiatrists and founders of “philosophy of human condition” that often spoke about this topic was dr. Jung. Carl Gustav Jung wrote about many things concerning the human psyche but what stand out of them is his conviction that every person has a light side and a dark side within (1).
Men and woman experience being vulnerability and shame in different ways. With woman, it is in their nature to have much more concern about their appearance such as body image, and are ripe with self-judgements. A woman will struggle with unspoken expectations of doing it all, doing it right and making sure she put in the effort to look “effortless”. Men, on the otherhand are more inclined to have a fear of being perceived as ‘weak’ (in general), so they must ‘act’ strong.
Rather than to fight that darker part of yourself (we live in a world of duality), we should learn to embrace it. To love it, since it is an essential part of us. We should be careful not to stop when we go a bit deeper, but to go further, nurture it and build a relationship with it. It is not about not feeling anything bad but seeing the you-ness in those negative emotions. You can see it as a part of you that needs your love and attention. I’ts in our human nature to only look at the good sides of our personality, and neglect the bad. As we live in a place of duality it is up to us to balance the two in our lives. What if there is no good and bad, but just different mindsets. If we can look at ourselves as different aspects we understand that all aspects have the right to be there. Only then we can become more whole. Otherwise supressed, it shall become a negative aspect within you, which isnt necessarily bad. As a matter a fact it can be your doorway to understanding yourself on a deeper level, and to look at it without judgement. If anything, it is a hard task not to judge ourselves, but it is necessary to integrate this aspect of ourselves by merely acknowlodging its existence.
This isn’t only a step towards feeling love and acceptance towards yourself but also feeling the same towards others. If you recognize and accept certain dark aspects in yourself you will do the same towards those of others. You will learn to understand and embrace the other without fear of his or her dark sides. You will have the courage to step into an all-in connection.
Your vulnerability can your path for reaching a state on living your life through your authentic self.
“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” ~Shakti Gawain